So I figured I'd write a post about why I'm interested in ordination. To many people, at least those who've met me after 2004/5 it will probably seem odd as you won't know me as religious.
I grew up in a religious family. We went to church every Sunday and were heavily involved in it. The church was what would be defined as Anglo-Catholic or high church. All bells and smells. I was an altar server from a young age, first a boat boy then an acolyte and finally a crucifer. I absolutely loved it.
I was fascinated by the whole service; I remember at a young age deciding I wanted to know the whole thing off by heart so I could properly recite it whilst serving, and the excitement when I first began serving of being able to participate in the whole service, not just the start and end with Sunday school in the middle!
I also remember being enamored of the blessing of the bread and wine and how by reciting gospel it led to them being charged with the power of God. Naturally I gave eucharist to my action men in the back garden, after blessing the vimto and sandwich crumbs at the holy climbing frame in my back garden to see if I could capture the special feeling of the occasion. That was probably the first time I thought of priesthood, not that I realised it at the time.
As I got older I got more involved and I joined my church's youth group 'the light society' getting involved in many activities with the church like handbell ringing and amateur dramatics! All with an undercurrent of prayer. In 2002 I went on my first Walsingham Youth Pilgrimage and I was blown away by it. It was fascinating to me and I felt very deeply moved. At this point in time I'd decided I wanted to be a pilot as I was also part of the air cadets at the time, but I did contemplate the possibility of ordination as well, albeit privately. For my second youth Pilgrimage I remember I caused no end of problems as it began just as annual camp for cadets was due to end, so I got an early lift back to Blackpool by one of the officers so I could attend it!
Unfortunately at 16 things happened in my church which massively shook my faith down to its core. People who I looked up to as deeply Christian turned out to be far from it and I stopped attending church. In that way that 16 year olds often do I knew all about the world and if these people were like that then the whole religion must be flawed!
This led to many years as an agnostic. I had a vague belief in God and I would occasionally pray to him/her, but organised religion was the enemy of faith!
When I started uni I grew up a bit and contemplated the Christian society, only to have the vows they make you sign reinforce my belief that religion was deeply flawed. I attended church a couple of times whilst at uni but didn't find one that felt right.
Once I started my current job and moved to Heysham I thought to give church another chance and went to St Peters in Heysham for a service. It was lovely, everyone was friendly and my faith in the religion was rekindled. I even accepted the offer of a chat and a walk with one of the parishioners afterwards. Big mistake. He was very pleasant, but very very evangelical in his ways and I now see him around town with a big sign saying let Jesus into your life. I mean each to their own but that's not quite what I have in mind as mission, and it put me off quite a bit.
I then got married and seriously considered converting to catholicism as my wife is Catholic and the wedding was Catholic but could never find the time to attend church. Probably because deep at heart I didn't want to convert. I'm happy as an Anglo-Catholic.
So finally we get back to ordination. I started being unhappy in work and looking for alternatives. My dad, about a year ago suggested I look at ordination again. It takes all the aspects of teaching I love and brings them all together every day. Initially I laughed it off, having run from it for so long and from the fact I hadn't been attending church for ages.
Cue this January. Dad suggests it again and me and my wife think on it and think on it and decide that actually it's not a bad idea. It is something I wanted to do as a lad and something that people close to me think I'd be good at so I decided to go to church that Sunday.
After that service I knew I was looking at the right thing. The readings for that week were from the book of Job telling you if you hate your job don't stick with it life is too short and the second from Paul to the Corinthians talking about the call to ministry. God couldn't really have made it any clearer! I thought on it for another couple of weeks whilst attending church and then approached my parish priest for advice on my feeling of being called and here I am now, fully exploring it!
Tl;dr: I was religious, then I wasn't, now I am again.
I grew up in a religious family. We went to church every Sunday and were heavily involved in it. The church was what would be defined as Anglo-Catholic or high church. All bells and smells. I was an altar server from a young age, first a boat boy then an acolyte and finally a crucifer. I absolutely loved it.
I was fascinated by the whole service; I remember at a young age deciding I wanted to know the whole thing off by heart so I could properly recite it whilst serving, and the excitement when I first began serving of being able to participate in the whole service, not just the start and end with Sunday school in the middle!
I also remember being enamored of the blessing of the bread and wine and how by reciting gospel it led to them being charged with the power of God. Naturally I gave eucharist to my action men in the back garden, after blessing the vimto and sandwich crumbs at the holy climbing frame in my back garden to see if I could capture the special feeling of the occasion. That was probably the first time I thought of priesthood, not that I realised it at the time.
As I got older I got more involved and I joined my church's youth group 'the light society' getting involved in many activities with the church like handbell ringing and amateur dramatics! All with an undercurrent of prayer. In 2002 I went on my first Walsingham Youth Pilgrimage and I was blown away by it. It was fascinating to me and I felt very deeply moved. At this point in time I'd decided I wanted to be a pilot as I was also part of the air cadets at the time, but I did contemplate the possibility of ordination as well, albeit privately. For my second youth Pilgrimage I remember I caused no end of problems as it began just as annual camp for cadets was due to end, so I got an early lift back to Blackpool by one of the officers so I could attend it!
Unfortunately at 16 things happened in my church which massively shook my faith down to its core. People who I looked up to as deeply Christian turned out to be far from it and I stopped attending church. In that way that 16 year olds often do I knew all about the world and if these people were like that then the whole religion must be flawed!
This led to many years as an agnostic. I had a vague belief in God and I would occasionally pray to him/her, but organised religion was the enemy of faith!
When I started uni I grew up a bit and contemplated the Christian society, only to have the vows they make you sign reinforce my belief that religion was deeply flawed. I attended church a couple of times whilst at uni but didn't find one that felt right.
Once I started my current job and moved to Heysham I thought to give church another chance and went to St Peters in Heysham for a service. It was lovely, everyone was friendly and my faith in the religion was rekindled. I even accepted the offer of a chat and a walk with one of the parishioners afterwards. Big mistake. He was very pleasant, but very very evangelical in his ways and I now see him around town with a big sign saying let Jesus into your life. I mean each to their own but that's not quite what I have in mind as mission, and it put me off quite a bit.
I then got married and seriously considered converting to catholicism as my wife is Catholic and the wedding was Catholic but could never find the time to attend church. Probably because deep at heart I didn't want to convert. I'm happy as an Anglo-Catholic.
So finally we get back to ordination. I started being unhappy in work and looking for alternatives. My dad, about a year ago suggested I look at ordination again. It takes all the aspects of teaching I love and brings them all together every day. Initially I laughed it off, having run from it for so long and from the fact I hadn't been attending church for ages.
Cue this January. Dad suggests it again and me and my wife think on it and think on it and decide that actually it's not a bad idea. It is something I wanted to do as a lad and something that people close to me think I'd be good at so I decided to go to church that Sunday.
After that service I knew I was looking at the right thing. The readings for that week were from the book of Job telling you if you hate your job don't stick with it life is too short and the second from Paul to the Corinthians talking about the call to ministry. God couldn't really have made it any clearer! I thought on it for another couple of weeks whilst attending church and then approached my parish priest for advice on my feeling of being called and here I am now, fully exploring it!
Tl;dr: I was religious, then I wasn't, now I am again.
Comments
Post a Comment