Roshi's ramblings

Outside view of Christ Church  Today I led my first service in its entirety. Last week Rev. Cindy kindly let me lead the family service from the order of service whilst she took control of the intercessions and the address.  Over the Christmas period I also had a chance at doing prayers of intercession as well as addresses.   This week I combined all of them and led the service from start to finish minus the reading and notices. The former as usually you do get someone else to read to break the monotony of your voice for the congregation and the latter as I didn't have a list of them.  I feel like it went really well! I didn't trip over anything and everyone there said I did a great job. I was nervous but it felt like God was present and was helping me maintain my composure and keep on top of things. I'm suffering from a chesty cough at the moment yet throughout the service I didn't need to stop to cough even once! I'm not sure if anyone would be inte...

Came across this poem in hearing the call:stories of young vocation.  It sums up for me what the calling can feel like.  It's definitely scary but ultimately worth it. 'When I became a Christian I said, Lord, now fill me in, Tell me what I'll suffer in this world of shame and sin. He said, your body may be killed, and left to rot and stink, Do you still want to follow me? I said Amen - I think. I think Amen, Amen I think, I think I say Amen, I'm not completely sure, can you just run through that again? You say my body may be killed and left to rot and stink, Well, yes, that sounds terrific, Lord, I say Amen - I think. But, Lord, there must be other ways to follow you, I said, I really would prefer to end up dying in my bed. Well, yes, he said, you could put up with the sneers and scorn and spit, Do you still want to follow me? I said Amen - a bit. A bit Amen, Amen a bit, a bit I say Amen, I'm not entirely sure, can we just run through that again? ...

Here's a prayer first written by Thomas Merton that really speaks to how I feel at the moment. 'My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end.  Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know if I do this you will lead me by the right toad, though I may know nothing about it.  Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone. Amen'

It seems to come as a shock to people when I say I believe in God.  'But Roshi you're a scientist! How can you believe in God?!' they decry, sometimes quite loudly.   I understand their reasoning. The church and science have had a complex and rather unpleasant past together. This has mostly arisen from power hungry people being scared of new ideas undermining their authority.  Too frequently the reaction has been to demonise and ostracise rather than embrace new theories. I personally believe in the fact that God made us in his/her own image. This doesn't mean (s)he actually physically molded us, I'll cover my theories on that in a later post, but (s)he chose humanity as the closest to him/her out of all the species evolution led to and granted us souls and the ability to reason and explore. Like any parent I believe God wants us to grow up to understand the processes (s)he created.  We're not going to be told how they all work, that wouldn't be learni...